Been Awhile but I'm Still Here - the Power of Someone Believing in You.

Whew, what a whirlwind couple of weeks it's been for me. Let's talk about stress ~ I don't handle stress well and for the past two weeks it's been my main companion. In the past, stress has been one of the reasons I eat and stuff my emotions. This time however; I have a different plan of attack - it's called working out and meeting personal physical goals.

To preface my couple of weeks, the stress has come from life and the curveballs it throws you from time to time. Our daughter-in-law Emily trying to go into premature labor with our 6th grandchild Chace. Chace is not due until May but the little bugger is trying ever so hard to be born early and for the past two weeks has sent Mommy to the doctor and to the hospital a few times. Bedrest was ordered for her and so that's when being a part of a family kicks in and she turned to us to help her out while my stepson Adam works. I've been helping Emily out alot with my almost 2 year old grandson Addison.  Between finishing up my Paralegal school training (set to graduate in May) and dealing with a 2 year old half the time, my eating has been off, my journaling my food intake has been almost null/void and although I am drinking my water, it's a constant struggle to get in my required intake. Because of this I am still sitting at 249 and I haven't attended a WW meeting in a couple weeks so the plateau continues but I haven't gained weight and as my mother likes to say "my sands are shifting" and my clothes are fitting differently thanks to exercise.

 Exercise is the one thing in my life that I haven't let slip and my training for my first 5K hasn't stopped and that is the only thing keeping me on task.  I am up to 4/10 of a mile running and on days I don't run, I am power walking to keep my momentum.  Every day something pops up to discourage me not to work out and every day that inner voice inside me that tells me to 'not' workout tries in vain to keep me from doing the deed.  What's the difference? The difference this time is my son Matt who is currently living with us.  When I shared with him that I wanted to get in shape and run a 5K on this fitness journey, he told me that there would be days that I wouldn't like him very much because he was going to be on me reminding me what the main focus of my goals are and keep me focused on that.  I can't tell you how beneficial that has been for my psyche. About a week ago I had a HORRIBLE headache and it was that TOM so I was most definetely having an "I can't do it" day.  I tried every excuse in the world with Matt and he was persistant. So much so that I was getting really perturbed with him.  Finally we left for the YMCA. It was rainy and cold and miserable outside and the last thing I wanted to do was put on my sweats, tie up my running shoes and go out in the weather at 7 p.m. after a long day of feeling like shit.

We got to the Y, and started off just stretching and walking around the track. Matt encouraged me to run at least one lap (1/10) but as we were running, he started pointing out to me that he knew I could do more and to run through the pain.  I have to admit with each step I took running, my head pounded a little bit more. As I ran around that track not once, not twice, not three but four times it was as if the stress I was feeling in my shoulders and neck and even my head left.  Walking around the track to cool down, I felt better than I had felt in a long time and my breathing wasn't nearly as bad as it had been on previous runs.  I finished up my workout about 45 min later and finally felt totally in control of how I was feeling that day.  That feeling empowered me and encouraged me to keep up this fight. It's not going to be an easy battle but I do know that it can be done and I have daily proof when I talk with my son who is battling severe PTSD from his time in Iraq and when I log into Twitter or Facebook and see the inspiring testimonies of people that I have met on this journey.  Because of these people showing me that they believe in me, it has put me in a different mind set this time and whether of not I lost the weight fast or slow, I am encouraged on a daily basis and have a support system that I've never had before.

Hopefully, the stress will slow down and hopefully I will be able to blog more and talk about where my journey is at and how I'm overcoming my battle with morbid obesity and getting back into top physical shape.